I'm keeping you forever and for always....

Yesterday, I threw the biggest tantrum of my life. I got angry at my husband for the dumbest thing. I was being incredibly selfish. Yet, I saw a side of him I have never seen.

Instead of him getting angry back at me, he showed me compassion and understanding. And I don't know why. I would have yelled at him if he acted the way I did.

He once told me to listen to Clay Walkers' song Fall. This was the first thing I thought of after I had talked to him. I got on Youtube and listened to it, on repeat, for about 5 hours straight.

Oh, look, there you go again
Puttin' on that smile again
Even though I know you've had a bad day
Doin' this and doin' that
Always puttin' yourself last
A whole lotta give and not enough take
But you can only be strong so long before you break

So fall
Go on and fall apart
Fall into these arms of mine
I'll catch you
Everytime you fall
Go on and lose it all
Every doubt, every fear,
Every worry, every tear,
I'm right here
Baby, fall

I miss him more than anyone knows. We've had such a struggle in our marriage from the very beginning. We've gone through more than any marriage should have to go through.

I honestly can say I fell back in total love with my husband yesterday. All because he understood. He loved me even though I was acting like a 5 year old bratty kid. He understood that I'm fully exhausted... that I'm tired of doing this alone, for this many years. He told me to "just say stop" and he'd give up this lifestyle for us.

45 days, 3 hours, and 45 minutes until he's home. It can't get here fast enough...